Such a great article I read recently entitled “When Motherhood is Only Hard All the Time“. While reading this post all I could think was, “YES, YES, YES.” I’ve had so many days where I whine and gripe about being constantly interrupted to read a book, change another diaper, rescue a non-toy from the clutches of the toddler, and the list goes on. Sometimes I feel very justified in my complaints- I’m so thirsty but haven’t had time to stop and grab a cup of water, or I really need to empty my bladder but there are about 5 other things I need to take care of first. I think, “I’m a person too! I have needs!”.
Then one night it hit me that my kids are reliant on me for basically everything. How many times has the baby been sitting in a dirty diaper but can’t do anything about it until I change her? Or my toddler been hungry or thirsty but can’t express that in words to tell me? This sounds kind of peculiar, but have you ever had an eyelash in your eye or a strand of cotton ball attached to your lash, and every time you blink it bothers you but you just can’t get it out?! That is one thing I cannot stand. Well, it made me so sad to think that could happen to Audrey and she couldn’t do anything about it (okay, I know, kind of an outlandish example but that’s how my mind works).
Don’t get me wrong- sometimes the interruptions every 2 minutes while I’m trying to make dinner seriously get old. Or the diaper explosion just when my famished self is finally sitting down for lunch feels like the last straw. But “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”, right? (Matt 16:24) And “Amen I say to you, as long as you did it to one of these my least brethren, you did it to me.” (Matt 25:40) There are times, of course when it’s prudent to let others know they need to be patient before you can help them. Other times you gain grace by dying to yourself and putting others first.
Along with all of this, I am NOT saying a woman (all women!) should just completely forget herself or her needs and become consumed with the needs of others. One cannot care for others if they’re not attending to themselves. BUT I need to remember that others suffer too, and sometimes in silence. I’m just being too loud with my complaining and whining to notice. I told Tim once that I’m a clanging gong. I really am. (You know the love chapter in Corinthians?) I do so many things without love, because “poor me I have to change ANOTHER rancid, poopy diaper,” “empty the full dishwasher again”, or “no way am I letting that jerk in front because he cut me off with his motorcycle back there”.
But God has decided that my path to heaven (for now) will be paved with all these little inconveniences and chores. St. Elizabeth Ann Seton said, “Let His will of the present moment be the first rule of our daily life and work.” *Hopefully* if I can view things as God’s will for me, I can keep
crawling moving along that path to heaven, and bring my fam with me.