I started typing out this post Saturday night as I
reached surpassed my limit of frustrating child rearing moments for week. As you can read from the title I have simmered down a smidge, but still feel the need to “voice” what transpired!
Lately I have just been feeling drained by the kids. I think it’s just a bad combo of serious lack of sleep + Tim being gone a lot + selfishness on my end to give of myself. It is so hard for me to have Tim works the hours he works and have two very young kids so close in age. I mean, it’s an ordeal just to go outside to play! Also, I mentioned last week that when they don’t take naps at the same time it smothers me. AND the napping has been substandard around here for sure. I love my girls, but I need space from them from time to time! “Spazio, Rudolfo! Spazio!” (10 points if you can guess that movie). On Saturday Tim graciously watched the girls in the afternoon while I went thrift store shopping. It was such a nice reprieve, but coming home to restless and under the weather kids, and knowing I’d be by myself with them all evening (Tim had a K of C function) left me wanting to hide in the bathroom.
Evie seems to have taken the title “Terrible Twos” and run with it. Actually it’s more like the Sassy/ Mischievous/ Here let me push THAT button of yours/ Twos.
I don’t drink a lot. I was never a big drinker since I passed the year 21 mark, but being pregnant and or breastfeeding for going on 3 years straight has really limited my alcohol intake. Most of the time I just don’t want to deal with the whole “feed Audrey then finish my glass of wine in a timely manner so I can feed her later” business. But Saturday night while I was dishing out leftovers, I saw a bottle of Raspberry wine on our counter and thought YES. WINE. That is what I want right now!
So down came the wine glass out of the cabinet. Every drop was delicious, and the evening wasn’t so daunting after all.
I KNOW I need to persevere in prayer a heck of a lot more- to ask for graces, strength, and forgiveness. This quote from Mother Teresa has been on my mind lately, “I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” Well, I’m hurtin’ but I don’t think it’s because I’ve been pouring out love. *Sigh* So I will keep on turning to prayer to help me mother these little ones…and pour myself a glass of vino every now and then.